Running by feel

Many coaches encourage their athletes to run by feel. There are numerous benefits to training this way: you become more in tune with your body and are forced to learn what a certain pace feels like. In college, I recall having to do some workouts without a watch, running 400s around the track with no splits to guide me. Without my trusty sidekick, Stopwatch, I felt naked, bare. Running scared, I often ran too fast and paid dearly. 

Checking those splits... definitely not running by feel...

But eventually, with time, I learned to trust my body and instead of forcing the pace, let the pace come to me.

Look, Ma - no watch!

So there's a lot to gain from running by feel. Many days, Coach Dad advises me to "let the run happen," starting slow as I listen to my body, finishing fast when I feel good. But what do you do when you feel like crap, all the time?

THIS is joyful running! "Feeling like crap" is how I'd describe much of the past spring. There were some joyful runs and a couple workouts I rocked, but they were few and far between. I was running lots, running hard, but things just weren't clicking. Few runs felt good, most runs felt blah, and a couple runs were so bad I just broke down in tears...

...kinda like this.

Try as I might, I'd lost the joy in my running and for the life of me I couldn't tell you why. Something was wrong, VERY wrong.

What do you do when you feel like doo-doo and you can't figure out what's up? You go to a doctor. You talk to an expert before devastating self-doubt takes over. You get some answers that are rooted in science, not in your running-crazed psyche. So that's what I did.

I got some tests. A lot of them, actually. 2 doctors, a 3 hour visit, 5 vials of blood, and $700 later, I had some answers. Low iron (not surprising and thankfully an easy fix!) and, surprisingly, super-low Vitamin D! I guess that's what happens when you move from sunny CA to Cleveland, land of little sun.

Rainy gloomy Cleveland summer

I didn't know much about the effects of low Vitamin D until I did some reading. Vitamin D is not only important for maintaining bone health, but it also affects your athletic performance by negatively impacting energy levels and your ability to recover, leaving you feeling pretty crummy. Nutrient deficiencies are a no-no for elite athletes, so since finding out my Vitamin D was severely low, I've been taking 50,000 IUs of Vitamin D each week to try to boost my levels back up. I'm almost done with a 12-week prescription and am finally starting to feel like myself again.

So I'm out on the roads and the trails each day, letting the runs happen, feeling the pace as it comes. Some days are slow but that joyful feeling is returning, and with it, the fire to compete.

Des Moines, revisited

Some time has passed since the dreadful death march that was my 10k at USA Outdoors. Wounds have (mostly) healed, body has recovered, and passion is reignited. Running so poorly on the national stage can serve as a big motivator, and here I am, on July 1, up before the sun more eager than ever to begin a new training cycle. July is a clean slate.

But before moving on, I'll briefly recap my race in Des Moines. Every race -- great or terrible or just mediocre -- holds value; if you take the time to review, analyze, learn from it, and improve upon it, it was worthwhile.

The race was hot - both in temperature (86 degrees at race time!) and in pace. Superwoman Shalane Flanagan took it out hard from the gun and everyone followed. I knew it was going to be ugly when I started to lose contact with the pack after 5 laps. 20 solo laps later, I crossed the line (oof). 3 cups of water, 2 pukes in a trash can, and 1 good cry later, I was glad to close the chapter on this race.

Photo credit Oiselle

Reflecting back, what could I have done better? Prepare. I wasn't in 33:00 shape coming into the race, for a variety of reasons. I'd accepted that and was ready to do what I could with the tools in the toolbox, but there's no replacement for the strength that comes from months of uninterrupted, consistent training, and that was evident. Next time around, I'll have the workouts under my belt to allow myself a shot at a top 10 finish. Good thing is, I know what I need to do to be better prepared. I've been prepared before and I'll be prepared again. Add to that some Vitamin D and iron and I'll be ready!

With a finishing time of 36:30, one might say that I didn't do anything well in that race. But I'm choosing to find some positives. What can I be proud of? That I came to the starting line confident, even when I had reasons to doubt my readiness. I got my head in a good place and at least gave myself the chance to run well. Things obviously didn't go my way, but it wasn't for lack of a positive attitude. So much of running is mental, so this is a big step forward for me.

I'm also happy that I finished. It took every ounce of mental fortitude to finish that race and not drop out; as Shalane lapped me for the 3rd time (yep, 3, not a typo), as my pace slowed to slower than tempo pace, as my body shivered in chills despite the heat, I slowly rounded the track all 25 times. Next time I find myself in a tough spot in a race, I will think back to USA's and say, "Ah, this ain't that bad - nothing compared to Des Moines!" and be able to gut it through.

While I may have run a disappointing race, others performed inspiring feats. There's nothing quite like competing at a US Championship to leave you inspired and hungry for more. I'm particularly inspired by Shannon Rowbury's valiant last 100 meters in the 5k. After failing to make the World Championships team in the 1500 the day before, Shannon came back in the 5k and reeled in the field in the last 400, punching her ticket to Moscow down the home strech. It was truly inspiring to watch!

Photo credit Letsrun.com

So I head out for my run this morning motivated and hungry -- for the speed and strength of the Kaitlin of 2012, for PRs and podium finishes and so much more. Summer morning runs give way to big dreams, and the months ahead hold endless possibilities...

Letting the sun set on Des Moines, closing this chapter and looking ahead to the next one! A new season awaits!