Fear --> Faith

A year ago, I wanted nothing more than to compete at the Olympic Trials 10k. I'd thought about the Trials every day for 2 years, on each run striving to improve myself and get closer to my goal. More than anything, I wanted to be on the starting line, but instead,

I was at home

, watching the race on TV, 

glass

 bottle of wine in hand.

Fast forward 11 months to May 2013, a month before the

2013 USA Outdoor Track & Field National Championships

(the equivalent of the Olympic Trials in a non-Olympic year). Unlike the year before, I'd earned a spot on the starting line, by virtue of my 33:01 10k PR. And also unlike a year ago, racing was the LAST thing I wanted to do. Whereas in 2012 I would have given anything to race, in 2013 I found myself full of fear, dread, and doubt... 

Stormy track workout, representative of the stormy spring I've had...

You see, I've had a roller coaster past few months. Running was not going well and some health stuff was way out of whack (more on that in another blog post). I'd tell my body to do X and it would do Y. I'd say, "Run faster!" and my legs would say, "Hell no!" Talk about the polar opposite of being in the best shape of your life... A body that's failing you doesn't exactly inspire confidence, and once those seeds of doubt are planted, they grow like weeds, taking over your sense of self and replacing the faith and confidence you've nurtured over the years...

So I was faced with a choice - end my season early and scratch out of USA's, or solider on and give it a go. 

What'd I pick? No cliffhangers or suspense here - I picked the latter. I'm here in Des Moines, athlete credential in hand, gearing up for my first track national championship in about 8 hours!

And I'll be showing up at the starting line not with doubt or fear, but with a renewed faith in my abilities. After sorting out the health issues that were plaguing me the past few weeks, I've run workouts that are reminiscent of the Kaitlin of last spring. And with solid workouts, confidence gradually returns.

Add to that plenty of encouragement from Coach Dad, Assistant Coach Little Bro Brendan, and Main Cheerleader Mom, mix in super support from Dena Evans and New Balance Silicon Valley, and finally stir in lots of love from my fiance, and you've got an athlete ready to race a 10k!

Earlier this month, I set the following goal for myself: 

And at 8:20 PM CT tonight, that's exactly what I plan to do! Hang with the pack (and try not to get lapped by Shalane!), run with confident thoughts in my head and joy in my heart, and HAVE SOME FUN! Because that's why we're really out here, right? Because we love it! :-)

Tune in to 

http://www.usatf.tv/ 

 to watch me joyfully race 25 laps (and be sure to catch my little bro Brendan in the men's 10k right after my race!). Go Greggs! :)

Frequent Flier

It's been a while since I've written because things have been mighty busy here in Cleveland! I've been traveling a TON and racking up the frequent flier miles! I'd planned to travel back to SF this weekend to race at Bay to Breakers, but decided against another trip and the accompanying jet lag and exhaustion. Instead, I'm sticking close to home and racing a 10k here in Cleveland! But before delving into that, a long-overdue recap of the past few weeks...

I raced in Chicago last month, my first race in over 4 months. I finished a respectable 11th at the Shamrock Shuffle, running 27:46 for 8k, just 10 seconds out of 7th place. I wish I'd had the strength (and guts) to push it a little more in the middle miles and make contact with the group in front of me. I ran a strong last mile and closed the gap that I'd let form, but as per usual the finish line came up all too quickly and I couldn't catch the pack of girls in front of me.


A top 10 finish would have been nice, but I was pleased knowing that I'd led the New Balance Silicon Valley ladies to a 4th place finish in the team competition. All told, it was a solid return to racing and a very fun weekend in Chicago with family and friends!

NBSV does Chicago!
Cousin/sibling reunion in Chicago :-)
Following Chicago, I ventured to Rochester Hills, Michigan, where I got to visit little brother Brendan, who recently joined the Hansons-Brooks Distance Project. It was great to meet Brendan's new teammates and see where he'll be training in the coming years. I feel lucky that Cleveland and Rochester Hills are only 3 hours apart, so sibling weekend visits are possible! :-)



The end of April brought me to Charlotte, North Carolina for work, where I joined the MOVABLE team at the annual conference for the American Alliance for Health, Physical Education, Recreation, and Dance (AAHPERD).


We worked our butts off selling MOVbands to the masses and I was pretty beat at the end of the week. But it was all worth it when people came back to our booth to tell us how much they liked their MOVband and how they couldn't wait to use it in their PE classes to help get kids MOVing more! Although I'm only 6 weeks into the job, I'm LOVING it so far and each day I'm energized and excited about my work. Feeling very blessed to have landed at such an awesome company here in Ohio!

MOVING joyfully :-)
Following AAHPERD, I flew from North Carolina to San Francisco for a glorious return to my home state. The weekend was filled with reunions with family and friends, joyful runs at my old stomping grounds at Kezar and in Golden Gate Park, and oh yeah, A RACE! I opened up my track season with a 5k at Payton Jordan. 


To my dismay, the race didn't go as planned. I haven't had great luck at Payton Jordan in years past and 2013 was no different. Workouts indicated that my fitness was right around 16:00-16:10, so I went into the race planning on running 77-78s and aiming for a PR. Unfortunately, the rabbit took us through 400 meters in 70 seconds and I was dead last in 73. Whatever happened to even splitting? The first mile of 5:04 was a bit too hot for me and I paid dearly for it, struggling in the 2nd half of the race and finishing in 16:39. Definitely not what I was hoping for nor what I flew across the country to run. I won't be back on the track til USA Outdoor Nationals; I'm sticking to the roads til the 10k in Des Moines in June.

And that brings us to May. I've been working a lot and fitting in my training with sunrise and sunset runs before and after work. Some days it's hard to motivate myself, as all my workouts this winter and spring have been done entirely solo. No coach, no training partners, just me and the roads or me around the oval. Not gonna lie, it has been a challenge, and I have work still to do before June, but I'm hoping that all this time working out alone will prepare me all the better for those lonely miles in the middle of a marathon. Well, no marathons in my future just yet, but Coach Dad and I have talked about training seriously for a half this fall. Stay tuned!


Next up - the Cleveland 10k on Sunday and Friehofer's 5k for Women in Albany, NY on June 1!